Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler
kymatt19

33:17 Over booked but canceling appointments...

So anyhow last night was a very wineific time.  5 bottles ( I figured I'd hold on to alittle after the nigh was over....) ended up all getting opened and only two glasses were left in the last bottle....which of course David and I finished off today at the pool.  DAMN that boy just loves doing handstands...the image that comes to mind...wet garments stick closely to your body when they are stuck out of the water.  Course nothing I hadnt seen...but still...enhanced the picture perfect day.  Tonight I was or am supposed to hangout with a couple people....but I am actually a tad tired.  And debating just staying in.  Tony started his new job here in Louisville today and I'm prolly gonna need to call him and do the whole....so how did it go thing.  


Oddly, and sadly possibly connected...(but dont tell David cause he would slap me silly)...I remebered and looked at the calender and thought about Brent being back in Kentucky in a week.  What an interesting variable.  Could these thoughts also be why I am feeling tired today and not interested so much in going out with two guys who asked me out?  How each of us changed so much over the summer in multiple ways, how before the summer we seemed so perfect and so turbulant but through it all we were there for each other...how now we don't talk.  I've gotten really good at not visiting his myspace.  It would only serve to hinder me.  Tony noticed the picture of me and Brent in my living room...I was like...well I have to put it out cause it is a part of me, that I wanna respect as a time of good feelings....but i also put it in the back of the pictures on the table so that it isn't in front of me and holding me back...kinda tucked away but in sight if you look.  Last exchange in discussion he was pretty assertive on his part that he was not too pleased with comments I've made about religion and such...I do feel like some head way has been made with me though.  Course when he returns I'll have to fight the part of me that would want to start things back up again with him...the side that would lead me to contact him....the side that would leave me looking foolish.  He pushed me away, just wouldn't make sense to try to come back.  I told a few friends that hey....if he contacts me....sure I'll talk to him, but I'm gonna do all I can to make sure I don't look foolish anymore....that means....accept that I've been removed or replaced from his life by him and that is how he apparently wants it.  Don't feel down about it...just welcome the next opportunity with a little more wisdom and equal open heart.

OH and has anyone noticed that freaking Myspace is so extremely slow lately?  I can hardly read or respond in my inbox

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