Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

36:04 And then they fell this juncture I am pretty pleased with my mini-installment day of politics.  I've been refreshing the election results every few minutes between Sen. Lieberman and his challenger Lamont.  Lieberman has been a strong proponent of the war in Iraq and criticized members of his party for going against it.  To me...that just is stupid.  Your a freaking democrat!  Act like it.  BUT .... then I guess he wont have the opportunity as the 18 year senator was tossed out on his ass to a guy who as only been a city council member in the primary!  Poor poor him....I mean....who would have thought the party would kick it's 2000 vice president nomine out just a few years later.  POINT TO NOTE .... don't forget where you are from and who your friends are...otherwise you'll be replaced.  McKinney the weirdo crazy Georgia House member who claimed she was checked for ID because she was black and thus...had the right to slap a police officer ended up receiving an even worse rebuke.  She lost by 18% points in the primary to a guy who called her an embarrassement and said he was running on the ABC ticket....."Anybody but Cynthia".  Makes me feel like the party is gearing up for a slaughter here soon.  We are ditching our village idiots and the people still in are gonna have to pay a tad closer attention to how not be beheaded.
I have been bouncing all over the map with his whole world without Brent.  This weekend I had a couple moments distractions of affection....yeah I think we also call those hook ups.  And then I made out most of Saturdaynight with a boy whom I decided to make out with....because his shirt said..."make out with me." I saw it, thought he was cute.....asked for a stick of gum by a friend...then walked up to him and surprised even myself.  Too bad he ended up being a tad of a wacko.  :-)  Ahh...I can pick them.  BUT...hey...I feel like that was a pretty bold move....which was successful which only strengthens ones resolve cause they now feel more confident.  Maybe the next boy I introduce myself too will be a tad more....sane.  I call him insane cause I took him home and I think he spent more time falling out of my bed and walking around my apartment naked as I sat back in bed and thought....why did I bring him home again?  Heck I am just gonna sleep...I'll let him figure out his world.  Then 7 hours later I dropped him off at his place and he asked if I wanted to come in...and I was like....oh no...thats alright I think I am gonna go have breakfest.  Cheers!
SO....Brent.  Brent Brent Brent.  You know what amazed me this morning?  The first thought in my head as I opened my eyes was.... Brent.  Even with the stepped up distractions and the continued media black out form him I woke up with his name first in my head.  Not a cigarette....not food...not I need to pee....but ....Brent.  Hopefully this will resolve in some way soon.  I started having this series of dreams which he isnt in but after checking on them on the net they lead me to believe that my subconcious is saying.....HEY....IT IS OVER.  One site described them as ... "indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking. This could also mean an end to an addiction" An addiction....yes I suppose that is about on the level of me and brent.
I did fall back recently on two things I said I wouldnt do.  One.  Make my dispair entry about him invisible to nonfriends...and two....wait for him to break the contact barrier.  I sent him a very small email...simply an attempt to reach out if he wanted that.  I just said.. "Welcome home to the USA, and if you want to talk just let me know." was less of a plea, more of just a ... hey if you hate me this wont matter, and if you need a reason to talk to it is.  
Either way...this allhas to fucking stop.  I am boring the hell out of everyone.  I am just hoping that the continued high date volume, the picked up level of sex, and the passage of time and more time will eclipse this who bullshit.

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