Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler
kymatt19

36:11 And then there were two

And then there were two.

Thats a famous last line that in 2001 meant that Matt and David are the last two guys standing at the party. Seriously there were so many occassions we were looking at each other and everyone else had fallen out and one of us always said.... "And then there was two."

So tonight David is in route on his way over....remember it is my birthday evening out. Lets look at the row though...

Matt - Present
David - Present
Derrick - Working
Ronald - Moving to FL as we speak
Greg - Late and unaccounted for
Ed - MIA
Tony - After last night we decided we didnt need to date. (Friends will recall this entry)
Brent - Oh yes....she did email me. And said that basically the 7 months of us together was nothing more than a mistake and he has changed and can never be that weak person again. ( I said back....sure you DID change now your an asshole. And the only mistake is who you have become. I love the Brent I knew who was very strong and special and you'd be lucky to find a guy like you USED to be)

SO ANYHOW.....DAVID DAVID DAVID. WHY?????????? Why does it always end up me and you? Fucking bitch. He even said today he had to shave real quick for me. :-) And when we were eating dinner 3 days ago and I was texting Tony he said....excuse me.....but this is OUR date! GAWD I love that freaking boy. I mean...when all else fails, he is there. He is always there. He even got jealous I think one night when I was talking about Tony's ... um ... you know. David:"Big? I see that every morning when I wake up! Doesnt mean anything to me." Yes David....we know....I mean...we remember. BUT anyhow...we all know that I and David are the perfect couple as long as I don't get controlling.....( doing a lot better here and there too btw....course I did get that DUI arguing with him cause he was flirting with a boy )

You know....I am a rich man. Seriously. Derrick ... is at work so we have to excuse him....Ron my ex who still secretly loves me in a romantic fashion would do anything for me, David...who just walks in the door and restores all cheer. Greg who has been around since the beginning of time. No seriously. Ed always an interesting fellow...( he is talking about his penis less and less....if you had hung out with us you would know what I am talking about )

SO last night I was very pissed with Tony. As he lay in my bed I sat here in the living room till about 9 am and drank.... a fifth of vodka with 6 red bulls then popped a couple of my ADHD pills...and now...I still havent slept. I've been too busy trying to figure out Tony. Who as he left I said... "Never again!" and he actually heard it. BUT the guy is a drama magnet who is yelling at me later on the phone calling me rude!!!!Then saying how he doesnt want to argue...and I calmly said....honey your the only one yelling. He is kinda a connection to brent so probably good that he gets his hat and leaves.

Speaking of Brent. I love the boy I dated. The guy who is on the other end now ... since like ... 3 months ago ... is a prick. He has very little attention for allowing a different opinion, he is brutal in his words....he totally is....ugly. He isnt the one I still love, so David and I are already set up to torch everything Brent.

Seriously....it is symbolic. I've held on to this crap for too long and the guy I remember doesn't exist. SO ... it is of no use to have memories with him. Our framed picture, the rose he bought me, our first month aniversary card, his good bye letter, tickets from Thunder, our UK ticket all sit in a pan awaiting the flame. I love Brent....but that asshole over there isnt any way shape or form the guy I have loved. It is so much easier to let go of a person when even they say....they arent that guy anymore. SO .... no use crying over spelt milk I'll find someone like the Brent that was....everything. Seriously....I dont want it confused here. Brent Jones that I kissed last...HE is what everyone looks for. Brent Jones sitting in judgement and full of selfish pride...he can claim the high road and dig a trench to hell. :-) ANGER.. YAY... Acceptance is next and I think destroying all remains of him is showing that I am not planning a turn around anymore.....so.....lets say....almost there!

So....tonight we mourn Ron's move away, Brent becoming a dick, Tony not understanding that he may be 20 but I wont be played....and we celebrate 28 years next to the one who has been there the longest...David.

And we are going public again now....no point hiding my thoughts from Brent since he doesnt care and I am pretty much over that late bitch.:-) If only he could live up to the person I created in my mind.....no.....who could? :-) Brent I love...brent 2.0 sucks. BUT...bring it back to the highlight.... David. David. David.

Could it just be that all these years we continue to groom ourselves to marriage? Ahh....there goes that damn planning too far ahead. I just know that for 7 years we've had David, and he .... always had me.
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