Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler
kymatt19

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4:14

Just some cute forms I now having hanging on my door.

Sexual Congress Request Form


All persons wishing to request an act of fornication with _______________________________, ”The Designated Point of Lust,” are required to submit this form, in triplicate, no fewer than 72 hours prior to the requested copulation period.

Sexual Congress Information:

Desirer’s Name: ___________________________________________

Desirer’s Title: ____________________________________________

Desirer’s Gender: __________________________________________

Preferred Gender Preference: _________________________________

I hereby request sweaty, carnal sexual congress with The Designated Point of Lust on:

Date: _______/_______/_______
Day Month Year

Time: _____:_____ am / pm (circle ONE only)

Proposed Location of Sexual Congress:

____ Local Howard Johnson’s

____ Backseat of Geo Prism

____ Third bathroom stall of Women’s Restroom on 2nd Floor

____ On the futon couch

____ Back row of local Loews Cineplex

Means of Sexual Congress: (check ONE only)

____ Missionary Position

____ Doggie Style

____ Woman-on-Top

____ Standing Up

____ “Dirty Sanchez”

Estimated Duration of Sex Act: ________ minutes, ________ seconds

Copulation will be confidential in nature: Y / N (circle one)


Requester Acknowledgement:
I acknowledge that my request for sexual congress with The Designated Point of Lust is a long shot, what with The Designated Point of Lust being a castrating tease. I further acknowledge that The Designated Point of Lust is married, and retains the right to destroy my career and assassinate my character via any and all means – public or private. I agree to abide by the final decision of The Designated Point of Lust.



___________________________________________ _______________________________
Signature of Desirer Date


Verbal Communication Request Form


All persons wishing to verbally communicate with _______________________________, ”The Desired Interlocutor,” are required to submit this form, in triplicate, no fewer than 72 hours prior to the requested communication period, to the address indicated at the bottom of this page.


Communication Information:

Requester Name: ___________________________________________

Requester Title: ____________________________________________

I hereby request verbal communication with The Desired Interlocutor on:

Date: _______/_______/_______
Day Month Year

Time: _____:_____ am / pm (circle ONE only)

Means of Communication: (check ONE only)

____ Conventional Telephone

____ Cellular Telephone

____ In-Person Conversation

Location: ______________________________

____ Walkie-Talkie

____ CB Radio


# of Persons Present: (circle one) 1 2 3 4

Purpose of Communication: _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________


Estimated Duration of Communication: ________ minutes, ________ seconds

This communication will be confidential in nature: Y / N (circle one)


Requester Acknowledgement:
I acknowledge that my request for verbal communication with The Desired Interlocutor is a demanding one. I further acknowledge that The Desired Interlocutor is extremely busy at all times, and retains the right to refuse my request for any reason whatsoever. I agree to fully abide by the final decision of The Desired Interlocutor.



___________________________________________ _______________________________
Signature of Requester Date


Please return this completed form by mail to: ________________________________________________________



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