Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

36:31 Defining a Vision

So we all have to have goals and a vision for ourselves in life. I dont know what all mine truely are but I know Love is a central theme to me and I sat back and was thinking about how I lack the other half and kids my school mates now have and I wonder if I am one of those who is remembered after I am gone as a person who contributed to something or who slimply took all his life. I want to define a vision for who I am and I want to ensure that I can look back and think I was part of something ground breaking and when humanity needed courage I didn't settle for personal appathy. Society places a lot of hampers on my demographical orientation. Can't give blood, can't get married, can't be an eagle scout, can't join the military, can't worship in the churches we grew up in ... but I can do something of meaning. You can't allow ignorance to stop you from contributing in the little ways that are important to feeling like you add to society.

So anyhow I have been thinking about this for a couple weeks and figure sure what the hell. I just applied to be a participant in the Step Study which is a clinical trial for the most advanced vaccine for fighting HIV. They are looking for certain aspects in the people who they give this too and I kinda perfectly fit every aspect they want. They have a lot of centers around the country to administer it closest to me is in St. Louis and just requires a month trip there and the initial plan is to get 3,000 people into the study which at this point they havent hit. Wierd to me. I would have figured it would sell out seats quicker than Rent but then i guess thats how one defines their vision?

Simply put ... 1,500 people will get a shot that contains a cold virus which has been inserted with several genes from an HIV virus cell. This is the vaccine and this is what would trigger the immune system to start fighting the diease. 1,500 people will get a shot of salt water. They'll track the people over the next 4 years and see who gets it and who doesnt. COURSE when I say who gets it (HIV) I mean from another source. YOU CAN NOT GET HIV FROM THIS SHOT. It has hiv genes but it is still a cold virus. Like teaching dog to shake hands triggers you to shake back, but it is still just a dog. The cold cell will act like something it isnt and the body will react. Then the body will already have in place the needed ability to fight a real exposure to HIV. So what are the risks? Thats the reason for the trial to see what happens but it has been tested on lab animals and apparently enough of them didnt die.:-)

I'll let you know when I hear something back.

In other news ... the MSOI did make contact again. And I think Cleo is sick ... gonna have to take her to a vet I suppose. I had fun out last night but had several interestingly odd situations which I'll keep to myself and those who were in last nights cast. Nothing bad more humorous and self affirming than anything else.

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