All in all this last month composed a good ending. I have actually been flying high lately. Sure the relationship isnt the label and image I want it to be but at the end of the night, you gotta ask if you feel good? And if you find yourself next to someone a lot who makes you feel good then you kinda need to recognize that as a win. He talks to me, we spend time together and I enjoy it so who cares about the other stuff. (specifically I have several friends who enjoy watering down anyone's relationship happiness) At least David the chief of this detractors guild is currently enjoying a superficial courting with a throw back guy who simply wants to bend him over and most likely want care about him once he does this. :-) See...few of us have that perfect thing.
This last month with the mom and grandma scenario has been good. I kinda feel like I made a lot of peace with mom recently. Ever since a divorce and then life from then I argued a lot. Even went 7 months with out speaking to her just a couple years ago. But oddly enough I was out with friends one night, just wanted to go home...called her at 3 am and told her to hangup and I wanted to leave her a message. I cried my eyes out and explained how I am 28 but I need her still. I love her still. It was nice to hear from my sister that mom called her crying about the message. I guess when we let down our defenses in the face of obstacles we have the potential to break binds we put on ourselves and it is important to make sure in crisis everyone knows where you stand. I am leaving work 30 minutes early in the morning to be at the hospital when my mom gets there. Its marking the start of "the fight of her life" as Allison put it. Allison got to read the pathology report so I final have some more concrete info. It appears to be stage 3 due to the tumor size and depending on if it has spread to other areas. They are removing the limp nodes so who knows there.