Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

I'm 28 for a moment...

So I went out tonight.  I talked to a guy I liked who wasnt Collin in front of Collin.  See....Collin is grand and all....but he has had months to act like he liked me and he hasnt.  So ... we gotta get over it.  And ... we saw Collin's semi stalker by callin's discussion...and we ignored him too.  See ... I don't really care at this point....I feel free.....I feel safe and I feel already that no one is here for me ... so whatever for everyone here.
I even showed up with James and Danny at Denny's with my earphones and mp3 player going.....only to take one ear out to explain to some guy from Chicago I couldnt understand what he was saying.  Fuck them all....I was enjoying myself....and I didnt need anyone else.

I stood there at Denny's at 5 am with my own musical and I didnt need anyone and I didnt care about who was where.  I heard my songs and I saw all I needed.  I'm just dreaming.

Course When I landed at home alone, I heard the next song .... wise men say, only fouls rush in....and I thought of the lost love of everything in me...and I knew that it was past....he was gone....but.....he never thought that I'd still pay homage to the idea of him....he never realized that seriously....anytime I hear any song falling in love with some one I rehash me and him.....and thats why I am single....thats part of how I changed....I am not over him....I'll never be over him.

I am not saying at all times I thought of him.  I actually rarely had any thought of Brent.  Tonight I saw a guy I actually like...Bobby...I know such a name sounds so fake...but we said Hi.  And I stood aside and watched him have so much fun on the dance floor and I admired his careful spirit.  And I left.  Dreams are sometimes best .... as only dreams.

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