Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

Secrets only for me to know

and no plans to act. Thus continuing the secret. I don't know I guess its cause the 9 ex boyfriends of Matt Leffler seemed to happen without struggle. Not that there wasn't struggle later but the honeymoon phase never required work. Thus discouraging me from working for what I feel should happen on its own. Convincing someone to date you is sales and I am more of a service kinda guy. You want it, then I'll help maintain it.

Course thats my usual plan of attrition....(the military strategy of wearing down the enemy by continual losses in personnel and material without giving ground ) Seems to work Single for over 2 years and celebate for almost four months. And no it isn't because I couldn't, it's because I wanted more and have stopped compromising.

I have fun anyhow. I have a lot of good friends, and then I have plenty of "second tier" friends. I don't know maybe I'm content enough with the scenario at hand to the point that I'm just prepared to wait out love and isn't that really a good place to be? Good music, dancing to the music, laughing and smiling to our stories of life and living with a hope for love but not the pursuit? When I look for my keys I'm probably desperate to find them. If I looked for love I'd be that nasty D word and I hope to be remembered as that happy, funny, calm and collect guy. I know...calm doesn't seem to be my forte but calm as in relaxed enough to be wild and enjoy myself.

Point of the journal ... cause I always ramble ... I have crushes but reservations for letting them be known to anyone.

Lets go on a series over the next postings and discuss each ex, with a video that I attribute to them and maybe a picture. :-) I used to have a page on my website called The EXBFs in Review. So this is the updated version...coming soon.

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