Lets do the hardest part of my biggest boyfriend. His picture...I choose cause it was the best without looking horribly guant.
Brandon. Most likely outr of them all "The One." I could use Donna Summer - I will go with you ... but that is a memory of our good times but during those three years we danced together we grew apart and found that we weren't together. Drugs seperated us from one another. This was IT. The love above all ... drifting insane and we lost one another.
He deserves more than one song but live journal doesn't seem to take two songs well. So our song ...
My fire. I met this boy when Kevin was leaving me. We hooked up online behind his church in Bowling Green. He was supposed to be just a trick. He became the one ... the one I lived with for three years.
His mom liked me, my grandparents told me at christmas "Where is Brandon? You know he is part of the family." But our dark secret was a habit and a pursuit of crystal meth. I blame that for why we didn't make it. Still today I have to say that was the only guy introduced as my exboyfriend and he corrected me "His exhusband" and he was and is still.
He was in high school, a senior and used to pull up to my place blaring BSB I want it that way before I agreed to be his boyfriend. He later admitted it was not a coincedence. He was my fire....the one desire...and he became too late.
We moved from Bowling Green to Louisville. I ignored him and I left him and he left me. Once he left me .... to move to Florida and after a couple months called me on my cell while I was at work and said "what would you say if I said I am on the highway coming back to KY with all I own in my backseat?" I said "I'll unlock the door." I've never stopped missing him. He really was my chance and I blew it over and over again but when push came to shove we reconnected.....until I looked back two years ago and he wasn't there and he didn't reply anymore.
Sex was mixed between us. I'd complain we didn't do it enough. He told people after we broke up he never went a day without a blowjob. He didn't. I still remember how he walked...how I knew it was his foot steps when I was in another room. I swear...I knew him, just by how he walked. (He wore sandles a lot and always dragged his feet and I could tell the sound of his flip flops and 130 pound cute frame walking down any hallway.) I remember his favorite foods were kraft mac and cheese....had to be kraft. Or a flattened hamburger ... BOTH of these things had to be drenched in A1 sauce.
When we slept next to each other for those many years ... we always were touching. At the least I had my foot laying over his foot.
I was known at Connection (the gay bar) as "Matthew formerly of Matt and Brandon" for years, no kidding. I even started introducing myself as that. We both went to connection one night after our break up and he leaned to me and said ... "We used to own this bar." and I agreed. No one else has had a presence like us since that, that I can think of....three years of one plus one....between two cute club boys was too much for any couple to match. Eat your hearts out....even today no one coins our presence.
He'd say that David Doyle broke us up, or Thomas Carrier ... I'd point out they were both three somes he started. I'd blame a culture of drug seeking behavior and valuing a one inch by one inch baggey over your true love. But the end true is ... I had something and I .... I lost him and he is the greatest loss. I am supposed to be smart, why didnt I stop the threeways, why didn't I stop the drugs?
"Tell me why....I never want to hear you say I want it that way. Now I can see we are falling apart from the way it used to be. No matter distance I want you to know..that deep down inside of me ... you are the fire, the one desire. "
It was all my fault. The biggest screw up in Matt Leffler's life, letting go of ... my ex husband. He wont even talk to me anymore. I think it is cause Brent (later chapter) didnt seem to like me talking to him and so I didn't and when Brent left in a fraction of the time I knew Brandon....Brandon wasn't having it anymore. As he shouldn't. Only so many times you can choose someone over the right one before you lose the short term BF and the long time one you should never have left.
I lost on this one, and he is the greatest misstep of Matt Leffler. He is the only ex that if given the chance, I'd drop it all and try again.