Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

Losing ... here and there.

Obviously Mike and I have broken up ... to those that know me.  Its a progression of beating a dead horse as my friend Rob said.  Insult to injury 

  • Conversation started August 24, 2011
  • Matthew Leffler

    hey Jake hows ATL going? Still living up in Chicago here. Random weird thing I had a long ass dream last night and you were in it... Figured I'd check up on ya, you looked great btw.

    • Jake Renfrow

      hey.. im still in atl.. its going pretty good.. i didnt know u were living in chicago... what was the dream about? lol

      • conversation goes on ... but years of conversation came before.

      He died today.  He was exceptionally beautiful....physically and most importantly just beautiful in person and life...I keep thinking it has to be a horrible bad joke.  I wouldnt be mad ... cause with Jake I always felt there was unfinished business, so if this was a joke and freinds and family have been wrong ... and you havent been sick for days ... I'm okay.  
      I never got a chance to tell him how hot I thought he lucky I was .... things just progress and sometimes we find ourselves as cowards.  Jake was one of the hottest guys in Louisville and oddly treated like he wasnt by some because of the threat he was by just being so cute and so perfectly unthreatening....thats horribly threatening.  I didnt stand up for him back then...but he was there ... and I realize I screwed up way back then long ago by not telling someone (him) how important he was.  He was very important, he will always hold a hugely important soft place in my heart. I was always going to correct my lack of honesty with him about how I felt about him.  Some day ... we have ... had ... a lifetime.

      All I can do is express such great remorse that I waited so long to show appreciation for someone who was nothing but genuine and sweet and overly awesome to me.  

      Jake Renfrow was patient, he was kind. He did not envy, he did not boast, he was not proud. He did not dishonor others, he was not self-seeking, he was never easily angered, and he kept no record of wrongs. Jake did not delight in evil but rejoiced with the truth. He always protected, always trusted, always hoped, and always persevered.

      You never know how long you have. 

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