December 26th, 2003

Matt Leffler

3:17

So today I saw peterpan and had dinner....( and I didnt have to pay for once! ). But that is all eclipsed by tomorrow...

11:21 Pm 12/26 a phone call came in and confirmed movies, dinner, and the bar tomorrow night. Joyfully, energetic, magical, and enchanting of course the voice of the object of my four year crush suggested we go out tomorrow...while it isnt a day off for him or me...it is a day we can make for each other.
That is the point I want to make. The day, the timing wiggled into two schedules that are not free but are forced by their owners to be free to welcome to the other is the point. Why wait to let the world change and life to continue when we can today force in the world we want.
That is the essence of my mind set. I dont want someone who seeks convience, I don't want someone who is a slave to anything but his heart. I don't care how far, I know every mile will be worth my while...I will go most anywhere to find where I belong. AND...any crowd big or small is unimportant. If his face is in that crowd, I know I'll hear and see the crowd I need. So maybe I am close to the far off dream of the great warm welcome. I'll turn to butter if I hear the voice...this is where your meant to be...if muttered from his lips.
SO...stand clear. I know I am not setup for failure here...even if I dont master the goals I have with this person today...time has proven that neither of us ever seem to wander far.
Someone asked me why I don't date him. I have never officially dated him...I love him. I've defended him at parties....he has told others the only opinion he cares about is mine, we've laughed together, played together...embraced each other, and kissed one another....and tomorrow, I shall be in the light that I crave...in the atmosphere that I excell...in the eyes of someone I will always cheerish.
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