May 31st, 2004

Matt Leffler

10:01 What a night

There is something exceptionally wild about listening to the deafening shrill of civil defense sirens, rolling thunder, flashes of lightening all the time while watching on TV your neighborhood and the weather man describing live the tornado that is literally a mile away illuminated by exploding transformers. I couldnt decide which view was better...that live one????? or the same exact view from my building? Really sucked when the cable went out while I was trying to find out where we stood on things. Obviously for me it was mostly just an awesome display of nature and a fantastic luck of being close but not too close. Many homes are gone, some people are dead, a few missing...12 hours later we still have 40,000 people without power and the Ohio is spilling over its banks 2 blocks away.
That was one of many tornados that destroyed many areas yesturday here. Maringo, IN. about 35 miles from here literally lost 80% of the buildings to a category 3 torando...thats 170 mile an hour wind. My grandparents live out near Glenmary which had is own tornado...anyone who was anyone had their own. Seriously if you like weather..(I do)...this weekend has been execptional around here. Thursday Lyza myself and Ron where driving down the express way when on the radio they said seek immediate shelter if your in the county we were in, and then they said the worst of the storm a suspected tornado was getting ready tohit Henryville. We all screamed out loud, the second his words hit my ear my eyes noticed the big green sign that said "Henryville". Lyza finds humor in a conversation that we had during this the car was being slamed by wind and hail I started to slow down and head for the shoulder so lyza asked why are we slowing down...I yelled back in half convinced....because we are going to die. The trees were blowing so wildly.
So no one has officially said how many tornadoes came through last night. I know they've reported countless funnel clouds, and about 10 touch downs??

So next subject....Sacatas? However you spell it. These little locust like things that only are around once every 17 years? ( sounds like jeepers creepers) I hate flying bugs. I have a phobia of fly may breeze by my ear and I generally freak out. lol. So with 3 million per acre of these clumsy BIG bugs image how fast I walk to and from my car! UGGGHHHH....seriously I am not safe to be near with them around.

I painted the office. Or rather I painted myself. I dont think my hands will look normal for several days. But the room has 2 coats of primer on it and is gearing towards being created. Arty has officially left the building. Mixed emotions...its the best thing for both of us to move forward, but I do look back and somewhat mourn the failed high expectations I had. This was the best answer to our situation, funny how its the end when we all start to care. We can spend months hating each other, but the last 5 minutes we go to great lengths to leave in a way that makes you want to miss the other. So a poem that is written on my mirror by a former lover, roommate, friend, and at times fierce enemy:
" Goodbye Mattie...
I sit alone, filled with fear. But somehow still I feel you near. The part of me that I once knew, now I know what I must do. Complete my life with you in mind. Knowing one day it's you I'll find. Until that day I'll embrace the night. Waiting under your fading light. - Arty 5/28/04"
Reactions...obviously in the course of the year that we have known each other alot has been said. Much of it special...only recently was it unbareable. I will miss the plans I once had with him in mind...but I also know what I must do. And that is to return to a happy, stable life filled with the goals I have with work, friends, and love. May we each find ourselves becoming the person we wish we were when we met.
So it is memorial day...I see the faces of the 700+ service people who have died recently and I look at the evidence of the peace they brought.....whatever the fuck! I remember them as I look at George Bush's private ignorant war.

Well....I am going to continue cleaning a bit. Now that this place is just mine, I have torn it apart in plans to have a home improvement month. Ya have to break some eggs...:-)
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