January 27th, 2005

Matt Leffler

18.2 Ouch

I cooked dinner.  Directions didnt call for my finger but I threw it in!  :-)  Damn this smarts!

Welp, unfortunately it seems I have enjoyed too much time to myself this month and sonata while performing in a profitable state isn't cutting the bills it needs too.  Stupidly I suppose I gambled a bit and spent money I should have directed towards other avenues on this hair brain idea.  Now it seems I will possibly be setting in a very fluid scenario.  If I have a moment to move to Chicago I don't know of anything more fitting:

1. Single with prejudice.

2. Unemployeed in KY as Decker is shadier than Sonata.

3. No apartment in KY. Probably moving as my landlord plans to file for the eviction of my late rent tomorrow morning.  ( I am late this month.  Thats it after five years of living here. )   I almost want to stick a finger in their face but I am trying to watch these digits lately.

4. I have no plans to call my family...rather just pack up and wave the white flag.

Only one way to go, maybe time will make it right.  I know life aint over.

Matt Leffler

12.3 For the record

How fun do you think your BF is on 3 Xanax and a joint? Thats all I wanna note. Again am uncut digit wants to be extended.

So this was the most attainable goal agreed too from my trusted advisors.

Move to Nashville. Call Brandon's home yours to get a job with Dell. Tell Ron he can kiss my ass and hang out with his "Friends" I would say who but I was never told and after 9 months of dating I expect the "love of my life" isnt going to use third person means to explain where he spends his time.

So to correct 18.1. Bitterness isnt a sign of reconciliation. It also can be a sign of betrayal that isnt unnoticed. Also, as I broke it down to SprintPCS..." I'd sooner give my right testical than allow him to use a line being billed to me." So he is suspended and I have 90 days to find someone else to take up the line. By then I'll hopefully be in Nashville dancing next to a person who thinks I am the center of their universe, just as I think they are of mine. I told Ron I hope he finds only people who treat him as well as he treats me. I started dating him cause I was tired of being in a different relationship each year, but I have to maintain a level of self respect. You see while a relationship is always work, you should drop it when you realize that only one person is doing any work. He was never over here alone to see me in my apartment for the past 2 weeks, and he claims he is tired of chasing me. I think he'd have had an easier time chasing if he showed up for the race. SO...502-472-3480 is me, and it no longer works since it rang to him.

WORD TO THE WISE: If you ever date me, I will never hide from you what I know I would expect from you.

So...Ron can kiss my honest ass. As the note I left on his door said....take your sleeping pills and you wont even notice me, it has worked so well before.