June 14th, 2005

Matt Leffler

19:4 And the beat goes on...

So anyhow couple updates, observations and plans...

1. Ron is moving on out which we both agree will help our friendship out.  He is being very respectful as I am of him right now which is making things work better than they could considering.  :-)  
2. I'm an honest, egotistical bitch sometimes.  I wasn't waiting for anything or anyone yesturday.  Had in my head how life should move and I just went.  :-)  Couple friends were supposed to join along but at the smallest oversight on their part I quickly knocked them aside and proclaimed yesturday "If your holding me back then I'll see you after the race."  also decided to proclaim " I'll meet you half way, but if you haven't even left yet then don't assume I have either."  This isn't personal it is just too much confidence.  I figure I can do anything or reach any level on my own.    

I keep pointing out that too often round these parts the few are pissed cause the many didn't search for them.  So the few felt left out....but I personally think the few need to either join us or shut up.  :-)

Sonata U is off ebay.  TOTALLY completely off it.  (thank god cause that source was simply attracting the least capable, most in need of assitance group I could handle. )  Now we are marketing directly online where the stakes are higher.  The new arm of marketing is gaining search engine traffic over the phrase "life experience degree."  Our university sites don't qualify due to the questionable nature of the programs.....so a third party (kinda sorta) wed site is the engine to bringing in the higher paying, better informed buyers.  Degreehelp.net  which is also the same as degreehelp.org,lifeexperiencedegree.org,lifeexperiencedegree.net and several subdomains is the flag ship of this endeavor.  In an independant survey of that phrase Sonata U already lands in the top ten for market share.  So I think our new focus should help bump that up just a tad.  We are talking about percentage points equaling a hundred or so more visitors.  The phrase is important simply because it is a pretty targeted idea.  If your typing that into a web search you probably are alot more ready to buy than the ebayers were.

I am still planning to get a regular job.  I lay in bed at 4pm somedays thinking "why get up, nothing to do."  And that is what I wanted back in December....but I suppose this 6 month vacation is getting to be more like a nursing home trip.  Plus it will be added cushion to have two income sources.

End result....its all good.  Don't mind the ego it is really for all our good cause I remember my friends.  .....  like I told this annoying drag queen who was at my house last week.  (she was bitching about the lack of house keeping I was doing while she needed to be taken out with the trash herself ) "I am not the one you want to call when you need dishes done.  I am the one to call when your in a jam and need an advocate."

yadda yadda yadda...:-)  I know....all random thoughts today.
Matt Leffler

19:5 Redirect....

Oh I forgot to explain....my over confidence/ fuck ya if your not helping mode.

Alright. Say that I act all about you for a couple weeks...I say some stuff to make you feel very comfortable in ur status with me...and so then you just kinda start not caring. BEATCH...:-) basically I am doing this now. See...I will be authentic, but when I feel the other part is is blowing me off....you wont find me there to ignore.
Then suddenly you'll realize that you werent much a focus..( i can be like a light. off and on in a switch) So then I'll ignore them, replace them...and when they attempt to repair the oversight they find that damn confidence in me again. I don't dwell on stuff, but i also don't forget it.

Cause it is almost insecurity so full blown that it lands on the other end of the spectrum? make sense? I am all about saving face and not putting myself out there for a repeat chance to be ignored. Seriously...dont even have to really know me and if i felt smugged...you'll swear I am an asshole then on.

This weekend a friend wanted to invite someone else over...but they wanted to know if it was fine with me since it was my house. Thats respectful and I'll reward it with appreciation. But the person I felt smugged by once, so I'm sorry to that friend...I didn't have him over.

So...this has been a dive into the self devices of Matt. Twisted little bitch right? Like I said before...I'll meet people half way but only when I see they are starting the journey.