June 26th, 2005

Matt Leffler

Just in from the bar....

Blah....that was a waste of money. Been more fun to just hangout home. I have a self fullfilling prophecy to share. Eleanor Rosevelt is attributed as the ultimate source: You have to consent to letting others make you feel bad.

Selena and I were talking tonight and that came to my memory.

It was a good reminder for me and point for her. Equally of note to anyone. While we may feel powerless, we may feel ashamed...or we may act one way or another ultimately it was our decision.

Onward into the new day with triumphant victories and no non-sense accepted. Goodnight.
Matt Leffler

Greatest Love of All

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all


This is my response to the recent crap. I have never felt so posed for a triumphant. Over exes who attempt to shut down your future, over apartment evictions. Over obstacles. They best stand aside.
Matt Leffler

Didnt we almost have it all.

I am in a gaze right now. Remembering the past lessons of love and life. Each of the few people I ever found myself enchanted by and how how at that time I had it all. With each one all we needed to give was love and how triumphant life was as a journey continued.

Never can return to the innocent cautious times of wondering what the ride would be like with these seven guys. Nights merge into morning and days transformed into weeks then months. With a few months flowed into years. It is the years that built the sense of extreme trust. For me I trust few and allow control by others to only them. We have to learn from the end of any relationship. Assess the lesson each gave and ask how the mistakes earn a future.

I've been betrayed before but I have chalked it down to their lessons learned. Which is why I can still talk to them and rebuild a friendship. BUT when you have already learned lessons and are dating a person who has already had the same experience you do you can not express the notion that they are growing by they're betrayal. It is inevitable that we all must experience a true evil hearted individual. Whos vendictive nature is unhiddable and noticeable. Someone who knows what he does, calculates the manipulation and excersizes actions pursing to destroy elements of your world. And again you learn from them. Always learn from them. Never except ignorance as a cause from an equal. You only allow the future actions of this individual to continue with your blessing.

Contempt. This is the fine for the planned out knowning betrayal. Your reaction is unforunately retaliation. We live in a society that seeks retribution for wrong doing. Often nothing can repay the pain you sufer and any attempt to seek retribution is a failed empty quest. Rather than sink to their level you must pick yourself up, guard against future trespass and hold an element that they will not understand: Class.

So retailate with your prosperity. Return their transgression with your advancement. They show their intentions by the preoccupation for your downfall. But you must grow. Today I ushered in the dawn of a new fruitful day. I hungout with old friends and new chances. Tomorrow I shall awake to another beautiful morning.

Know that for every loss their is the doorway open to growth. Tomorrow I will execute to be the classy Matt that I was raised to be by the lessons I have learned. I will not pay mind to the evil hearted and I will not let it poision the future love that will inevitably consume me. Allowing the future and never being a victim of circumstance I find a life worth living and will not allow those to deter the best of times which lie ahead. Once you know what love is you know that it can never end. Rebirth, rejoice, reinvigorate and reinvent your hopes and dreams for tomorrow you will find the one that you have been tested to appreciate.

Let the dream descend! Same script, different cast.