February 22nd, 2006

Matt Leffler

21:05 Ambition and Positioning

So anyhow...

For those who don't know what 21:05 means...a quick footnote; this is the "Book of Matthew" and just as in the bible 21:05 means chapter 21 and verse 05. Corny thing I started with 1:01....(my first entry)...which if my memory is correct should have been posted sometime in 2003? My journal has been a running documentary of my boring life but does serve to remind me of things that happened in my past. It also "unintended" :-) provides people I just began to know a running history to check up on my previous "record." Such as Brent...:-) It would be interesting to find out what a third party who didnt know me thought of it all...would they say I was nuts? Most likely.

(WARNING: The next paragraph is boring computer talk, skip it if your not turned on by specs)
Anyhow. So Brent and I recently determined it was time for new laptops.:-) [as you know I am a techno geek] We bought basically identical laptops to replace our aging ones. 15.4" screen, 1.8ghz 64 bit processors with 1mb L2 cache, 128mb ATI graphics, integrarted wireless, 512mb DDR, 1.3" thick, 6 in 1 media card reader ... all for just under $800. Its the graphics and screen I am most excited about. Plus we took our old harddrives and are going to use them as external ones. May upgrade the RAM to 1 GB later...:-) Moving from Integrated Intel Graphics to 128mb ATI is night and day.

So Derrick made me aware of a great job at Norton. Doing what I like, in a nicer environment than Charter, for about 40% more money! Interview is Thursday at 10 am. Looking forward! With this job I can do more of what I want.

If I get the job I think my domain of dwelling shall be http://www.loftsofbroadway.com they are newly renovated loft apartments that are downtown in an old factory. It will allow the space I'll need for the family.

Brent...I was talking to a close friend who compared his realtionship to mine. He mentioned he doesn't feel the way I do about Brent. I liked that. Even with our stupid circumstancial errors we can be seen as a strong couple. I asked him to spend the summer with me here in Louisville. The Lofts would be great for us. He can get a summer job and the two of us can experience a glimpse of the life we can have together after he graduates. Which at that point would only be one more semester. I think when all this comes to pass I'll sit back and realize that I have the home, job, friends and lover that I really want, and probably don't deserve. But I'll take more than my share in this instance and enjoy it.

Smoking: So after a month of lapsing back to like 6 cigs a day I got back on my anti-smoking medicine. Luckily my mother is now a nurse practitioner and she wrote me a perscription for my Wellbutrin. Nicely also doubling the dosage. Sure enough two weeks later I have no need for cigs and they make me physically ill. She was impressed with the results enough to write my little brother the same perscription. IF YOU SMOKE AND WANT TO QUIT. Cold turkey is a hard way, which didnt last for me. The patches are a waste, I would be smoking with like 4 patches on...but this one white pill a day gradually over 2 weeks removes the urge to smoke. I honestly didn't have to try not to smoke. The first week I was putting out half smoked cigs and by the second week I had forgotten to smoke. So...I strongly encourage it.

Lastly...as you may know I have been living in my mother's rental house. Just the basement..the upstairs has been empty for months. Well mom decided to seperate from her husband...(he is a total ass)...and ended up retaking the upstairs. Which most of us were some what cautious as to if we could stand it. Its fine. Almost dare I say Good. I was a mama's boy growing up but after here divorce I really seperated from her and she did the same to me. We went six months with out speaking at one point. But now we are bonding again. She has her space....and I have mine. Brent and I cooked her and her boyfriend dinner one night and it is kinda nice to all four be able to sit and talk. So...while I am moving out sometime here soon...we've become friends again.
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