June 3rd, 2006

Matt Leffler

Rise Again....by a familiar fellow to the beat of a familiar favorite DJ

Stand aside. I dont want anyone to get hit by the blast of air as I rocket past this juncture of life. We all have challenges in life, most are SELF created...no one places us in any situation that we do not wish to be within. Its so easy to build a rational of blaming God for "his" actions...when it is clearly that someone isn't accepting credit for their own path. Not me...I have never really hide in the shadows of "God" nor do I accept that inanimate objects such as drugs and alcohol are the great enemies of society. It isn't the world...it isn't the location or the place you exist in...you can run from any of these things...but the one thing that is to blame is YOURSELF...and you can't gain distance from yourself without the forementioned items. God, Drugs, Alcohol are all means to help us disassociate ourselves from the real power the real source....ourselves. So I take credit and fault for my actions and I know I can build whatever I dream. I look at so many in this world who struggle just as I struggle who wish...who make promises and who don't put things into action....because it is all in His hands....or some stupid lame excuse for not modifing their own behavior. I don't know if I will go to hell but I know I will not LIVE hell. As Truman capote noted..."The brain may take advice, but not the heart, and love having no geography, knows no boundaries: weight and sink it deep, no matter, it will rise and find the surface: and why not? Any love is natural and beautiful that lies within a person's nature; only hyprocrites would hold a man responsible for what he loves, emotional illiterates and those of righteous envy, who, in their agitated concern, mistake so frequently the arrow pointing to heaven for the one that leads to hell."   That simple line sums up so many aspects of so many gay people's lives that struggle with being true to who they are or listening to the people who don't know up from down!   I am mixing multiple points into a larger idea...."You are the only one who controls you."

So I am pretty poised to build a life of rebirth and return to where and who I was say....when I was 25ish or so. I heard this song today as I was searching for inspiration...the best inspiration to me usually isn't a person or a goal....but a song.

I found a new musician that fits into the genre of Matt Leffler = Dee Dee, I already knew her song...but I had forgotten it. "Hold me tight in your arms, I know we have the strength to stay together. " - Sometimes music implies superhuman actions that rarely find a place in reality.
I also found my summer theme song. Dj Sammy - Rise Again as the title suggest I will dominate. :-) Here is a copy of it for your listening sample... http://www.horizonmll.com/riseagain.mp3 

Anyhow...I am conquering, I do see growth, I do dream tomorrow and I dare to act today!