August 4th, 2006

Matt Leffler

34:02

So anyways....obviously his return to the states has somewhat caught me.  I thought about deleting that last posting but figured....no....the truth hurts, and if he reads it and says Hey .... this guy really was special to me....then he'll call.  If he doesnt read it then obviously he doesn't care.  And if he does read it and he doesn't try to contact me then...at least I know that I didn't try my best to pour myself out and be heard.  I kinda would think the biggest tragedy of Love is taking too much pride and not admitting when you care about someone.  So...the message is good for me.  It either frees my conscience or it catches his attention basically.  But I do know one thing still....first....he has to be the one to break the silence, he is the one who started it.  Second...I will make it through this it is not in my control if he is part of my life anymore, so I can't keep worrying about it.  I can control myself, and hope for the best.  Cheers!  Chapter 34 must now be closed I've said what I needed to say.