December 5th, 2006

Matt Leffler

Mom called

Mom called today.  She said she had bad news from her pathologist and was gonna need a new surgeon.  She didnt go in it far.  I asked her a basic question.  What is the stage and what is the grade?  She said she didnt know.  I was like....MOM...your a nurse practicioner whos special is women;s health.  You've already had surgery once and your telling me you need it again.  And your saying you havent asked how bad it is???  I said ... your making me feel like your not telling me.  She said she was gonna call them back and ask ... I was thinking in my head this isn't how it goes.  Grandma knew her stage and level 2 months ago for her breast cancer before the first surgery,

I honestly dont know what I should do or say right now.  Should I run to her? Should I continue as normal?  Normal can't work cause it doesnt show I care.  But then going into alarm mode wont help her and she probably doesnt need to be helping me on this I need to be helping her.  What is grandma doing?  How far is mom's gone?  I mean ... I know so much more about Grandma's situation and so little about my mom's and I know she hide it until this weekend because she thought she was helping me .... is she still hiding something?

Uggghhhh. 2006 as a year really has sucked.