September 17th, 2011

Matt Leffler


So for the state of mind ... its all about the song.

In case the song doesnt load... searcg youtube for human pink killers

I have pandora running everyday. On my home laptop, my phone, my work phone, my work laptop. I've given thumbs up to this song so many times in variations it hardly ever fails on my way to work I hear this song. I wanna explain what hits my mind.  I literally listen to that song above everyday on my walk to the train station, see cute guys here in boystown jumping on a train and wonder if they are from somewhere else and how happy they are to be here.  And I generally always stop thinking and rejoice.  I dance.  I seriously dance at least once a week on my way to work...just mouthing the words and kicking my feet up.  And think ... I'm here.

I tried to move to Chicago from Louisville ... but I was nervous ... I saw an open door... for 7 years. I closwed my eyes cleared my heart and cut the cord by quiting my job and cashing out my pension and 401K. It was just way past time.
My sign was vital ... I couldnt live the way I was ... I was going to scratch my eyes out in Louisville. I was human and wanted to be a dancer.

I find myself often on my knees looking for an answer ... where will I feel I belong?

Paid my respects to grace and virtue ( grandma ) So long to devotion ... ( mom ) You've got to let me go. ( as she cried ) She taught me everything I knew, wave good bye , wish me well she taught me all I knew. You've got to let me go.

These thoughts race through my head everyday as I ride the train into work and look at the other urban dancers around, look at the towers surrounding me and all the possiblities in each and all the stuff happening around....and the fast pace train and walk needed to keep up.

I love it. I wish I had experienced it when I was 21, not 33. I'm kinda home.