Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler
kymatt19

39:17 Work Is Flying High, Cody Is Just Fucking Bizarre




First off pic I dont think Ive put pics up in ages...

Second off got another political candidate to help with SEO, sites and data. Thats fantastic as it pushes me up from an impressive week. With out the new client I'm already exceeding the $ I had with my last job. So I may just end up being self-employeed after all.
I do need an assistant or help. Often I find myself doing something to anyone else could be doing ( making documentation, copying files from here to there ) so I'm dead set on in 2 weeks getting aa steady side kick.

Finally...and I know...we thought it was all over and I'd finally move on right? Well, I'm getting wildly missed signals. Just enough to basically leave me in a web. Cody "moved" out .. granted it was 6 days later than expected but he kinda tossed it in my face that he did it for us, course he had already planned to do that before I asked him. He also didnt say he moved, he said he was at his grandmas...I said I had been at McDonalds but that didnt change my address.
Last weekend we all made it out, oldest to the newest of friends and Cody joined us much to my amazement Greg was wowed and said he got why I was so into him. He asked this weekend what COdy and I had done all week...NOTHING. I mean we havent seen each other since last weekend when he kinda said he loved me. Thats as far as he's ever gone on emotion. We had a dramatic ride home where he exclaimed he was done because I was upset he was headed back to Seans and I mentioned I wanted him to move from there. He claimed I was bringing up the past...and I was like...what the fuck are you talking about? You literally are living with and at the past if we are moving forward. You can't ride the middle of the fence. I created a stupid Facebook poll just so he could see I wasnt being unreasonable...70% of folks agreed hypothetically. He didn't try to see me over the 4th but did watch fireworks with Seans family. He did invite me to go to Chicago this weekend with him and his family that I never got to meet but of course Sean did. I gladly accepted hoping that it would normalize our relationship...but fearful the last time we went I had the same hope and he just wasted the weekend. So ... not sure what will happen but I'm going totally seperate and have my own plans ... I'm going with or without him cause I made the plans already to go.
He also blocked me on Facebook then and said he was done. At that point it had been days since I had actually had any meaningful contact with him so another example of how I can't fuck up or succeed with him...its literally just random actions.
I made a video of us ... 100 or so pics and vids and put it to music...subtitles...sent him a draft of it and he said he cried. Now that wasnt enough to get him to see me.
Sunday he asked if I wanted to get together Monday ... but before making plans he went silent again. He'll do that...just 12 to 21 hours of no response. Says he is sleeping...7 days now...its fucking bullshit cause his Grindr has popped up at some apartments in Crescent Hill which he failed to mention. And we share locations of our phones and he spent most of Sunday at Dean's whos the guy he used to hook up with right before we met...and never replied to me that day till this morning noting oddity in my message delivery (technical the phone dropped my messages in some folder which I assume is his way of saying he didnt know I was texting along last night ) I pointed out he would have if he had tried to message me. He also failed to mention Dean's I assume he thought the location wouldnt update? Or he knew if just didnt mention it or reply to me and didnt think Id like to see him sooner than Dean would...talk about moving past the past.
I offered him to move in here and to help me with this work and then we'd pay all our bills from it and split the profits...or if he wanted security I could promise %500 a week...I mean I do need help he needs to have his own money...and we'd be a team succeeding together. He took days to get back to me and only asked about it after he said he was done with me. How do you ask if you've said you dont want to be with me? It was either he's playing a game with saying he's done...or he was willing to consider it for money. I mean...thats really making me feel secure.
So thats Cody and I. Its getting to the limit of if its worth trying to be with someone who sees everyone else and talks to everyone else but blocks me and ignores me but hands me little signs to keep me on the hook. If we dont workout it isnt because of what he did initially its how he has been since ...
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