kymatt19

42:03 You fool...you were right all along you just allowed your bias to blind ya.

So...theres a marketing rule ... Consuimers are creatures of habit.  They will pick the same brand even when presented with a superior and cheaper substitute about 2/3 of the time.  That is to say ... people make the same choice even the wrong one 66% of the time regardless of the options.  

With that noted ... another thing I say to folks....

When you catch your house keeper stealing from you... should you give her a second chance?  NO ... this isn't her first time it IS the first time you caught her.

Another thing I say ....

Don't allow yourself to think you are any more important to someone than anyone else in their life.  That is to say, if they do something to multiple people don't allow yourself to think ... but I'm different.  Are you really...Id warn you to not allow bias to affect your decisions.

Folks often give away what they hide...its almost a confession but they do it in a way that only makes sense when looking back.  

Daniel and I met a couple years ago, he stole my laptop on the second hook up.  But insurance covered it and I was intrigued enough to reply a year later when he messaged me again.  He was on the down and out sleeping on a smelly urine soaked carpet floor in nowhere Indiana, just out of jail and wearing an ankle braclet.  It was obvious he was setup for failure and would be going back to jail soon ... what did the world offer him to fit to be apart of it?    

I love playing the Savior.  I have a Messiah complex...going to great pain in order to fix someone, so I jumped and even when he was ran out of their by neighbors in the early morning I stabilized him and put him in a hotel room for 3 months.  He repaid me ... he knew my motives.  

Daniel and I agreed once that his motives where money and mine were sex.  I felt like it works out fine cause each of us got our needs.  He was confident and he took the lead which I enjoyed since I felt like all the time I was having to lead in everyday tasks and business.

Then a year more goes by and in that time watching his ugly break up with Jennifer I learned of the extent of how far he'd go to hurt her ... fucking her sister was where I think he peaked.

His revelation to his new girl friend, Taylor, that he had fucked her mother was really not that surprising.  

He lacked a moral compass in more than relationships.  He took my night key to my office and burglarized it all while telling me I was crazy to suggest he had my key.  Now, I don't know why I was surprised to meet two detectives when going in to get a new key but I was surprised.  He denied it all up till I mentioned the video they showed me ... and who was the star?

Mistakes I've made here....those first three rules above....but you see, my needs where met and I'd accepted that to get one thing I had to roll with the other.  Long term?  No not at all...but for now it was balanced.

Then September things changed...he altered the rules and expected the same priveledges and risk acceptance on my part.  I say risk because I act as a shield and provide a safe zone from the world getting him.  More than one occasion I had to handle an injured party or answer to authorities on his actions.  But I had made it a mission to see him flurish and to see him not living on  dirty floor.  With time he'd learn the limits ... I foolishly hoped.

But no longer were my needs to be part of this arrangement.  He didnt say the rules had changed but they had...I kept trying to explain that I wasn't in competition with his girl friend...it was a different game.

See I was a star football player and she was a baseball champion...going to her game wasn't the same as my game so I wasn't jealous...but it seemed he didn't get that.  But I missed the piece of the puzzle until tonight.

She had been around since June, so why the change in September?  Another change had occured with someone else ... Jared and I occasionally hooked up and he had joined the household in September, a bit after the rest of us had set up camp here at Shelby.  We stopped hooking up once he moved in.  It was no love lost, he was a young guy, mostly a sub and a sexual follower...but an opportunist as well.  In four month he worked about 2 weeks...yet he survived.  Largely due to my help, I felt sorry for him ... he had a felony and it limited his ability to thrive...kinda reminds me of someone else in the story. 

See where things are lining up here?

Well I did, when I told Robert, Jared had mentioned he thought he was being cat fished by Robert.  I wanted to help Robert ... not make some embarrassing mistake.  But he was surprised, especially since Jared had given him a blow job recently.  I thought to myself ... why would he want to cover up that by giving me misinformation?

Thats when it struck me ... this isnt the first time Jared slept with a roommate.  He had slept with me and now Robert....it goes to the house keeper rule....and to human nature ....

Then I thought about all the times Daniel and Jared ... who according to Daniel never talked ... how many times I had heard about them off together in the house.  I can think of 3 times my suspicions were raised ... and its interesting to think about how Daniel had told me that Jared had stolen my cologne, it was on Jared's night stand.

How Daniel had pledged ... I hadnt asked ... to not give Jared something else ... but then I was surprised when a day later Jared had the item.  Daniel was being really generous and had gone back on his offered word to me.  No matter I thought ... its not a big deal.

Then when you consider both of their actions, usually when they partook of the said substance (yes its a substance) ... the amount of time they didn't spend together but did and the timing of the end of actions between me and each of them it became pretty clear.

Daniel was fucking Jared.

This whole damn time, and literally at my expense.  I was in competition with someone else playing football ... I was just too distracted by the girl friend and thought it was relevant, when it was a different game all along as I had said...see I had been right....I only had to worry about another guy, and here one was ... front and center both .... living off of me.

Then more came to mind.  Jared liked to keep objects for safe keeping in Daniels room.  Why?  or How Daniel knew I had taken back my cell phone when he left it outside .... you see Jared was there when I got it handed to me by the original finder.  Daniel didn't find it you see, cause I had kept it locked up in my glove box.  So he had to have been told by Jared.

Both of them are as Gay as I am, but both of them pretend to be Str8 and front to the world they are hetros which makes them even more perfect to fuck around.  

Daniel told me several times, it was just me that he did this gay shit with....but I knew that wasn't true...he had become really good at bottoming overnight.  Prior I could never get it in ... now his only problem was not cuming in 2 minutes.  So I knew there was help somewhere else, and I knew it was likely more than one teacher.  I had been tipped off a year earlier when Daniel had hit on another roommate of mine, who told me about it.  

Daniel is a narcissist you see ... he couldn't imagine anyone saying no.  Matt though not only said no but turned him in to me.  

So we have a history of fucking over those we shouldnt.  A history of fucking me over.  A history of fucking with roommates and multiple inconsistencies in their timelines.

So am I jealous?  Of course....but more so I am kinda hurt.  I was dupped into gushing over someone who took my affections and someone else who benefited from my hard work ... those two .... I had lifted up off that smelly carpet had written me out.  I was a fool again, humiliated but at least not anymore alone then I was before I knew.

The situation leads itself to the obvious punishment.  The removal of Matt Leffler from their lives ... letting them rely on each other now and lifting the burden they brought to my shoulders.  See I may be 42 .... but I still bring a huge gift ... myself.  And the greatest reckoning is taking that gift out of their lives.

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