Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler
kymatt19

7:1 Pre REVOLUTION

Alrighty many people at this point are already aware of the Easter Weekend Nashville Fiasco between Arty and I. Honestly I will try to portray an unbiased view at the night. A glimpse at my motives...and now the end result.

First off the history. Arty moved in with me in late December of 2003. I needed a roomie and he had decided he wanted to return to Louisville after having left 5 or 6 months ago. Arty felt Louisville was a bad place, with alot of bad people. I argued that geography had nothing to do with it. People that are nice are nice no matter what city they are in...given the correct setting. He tried to get a job and got one after 2 months of living here. Around this time it was obvious to anyone that my crush from a year ago was back and strong. Arty and I began to sleep next to each other at night....but 90% of the time at my request. Arty did say, he had no plans to be in a relationship. Which is kinda true but not really since he was after my ex Derrick. I wondered if he had moved here just to be closer to him?

While he was looking for a job rent, internet and electric was still paid and we went out to eat at least twice a week. And we never missed a night at the bar that we wanted to go too. Arty did pay me back the rent and utilities, but I mention this to show my trust in him, and hope to see him succeed. But he became very depressed which worried me as to how long he'd stay here. Recently in the past year I can think of 4 residencies he has had. He has his reasons...but ultimately its a personal choice whether to give up or work harder.

I used to have what I consider a drug problem. But in the past year I feel extremely good about myself and know that the problem is no longer an active element I have to fight. Similarly in my mind Arty had once worked as an adult dancer at a gay bar while at IU. He doesnt see these as similarly poor decisions. In my mind at least mine didnt call for me to be a soft-prostitute. I dont understand why he seems proud of it, and he had entertained the idea of doing it again a month or so ago. I told him I thought he was beautiful. And that allowing others to see the gift he was for cash was a travesty. This has been a central point we have used to attack each other. Both are poor attempts to belittle the other.

But beyond that we in my eyes had the relationship I wanted. We had sex regularly, we slept together often...we did alot of stuff together like shop and watch TV programs. He would have no problem walking around the house in the briefs he knew I liked to me that was the continuation of our attention to one another. But in the past few months I felt like we were interested in each other on the weekdays..and weekends he would plan stuff without including me...and often didnt tell me anything he was thinking of doing. This pissed me off, cause no matter what day it was he was always welcomed with my friends.

So....I shall now start a new section to explain the night everything crashed down.

Continued in 7:2 The Night
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