Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

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12:1 The Crisis of the 7th Empire

Each person should have the ability to decide for themselves their lifestyle and behavior.  When a person's choices affect another person, then their personal decisions can be questioned.  In this interconnected personal decision situation pandora's box is opened.  It must be determined that the behavior of person number one warrants the intervention of the second.  If no harm to another person is found then I question the right of the second person to attempt to change the first.

Any real relationship no matter its level is one of compromise.  Two parties equally dissatisfied at the results.  If a person offers to change his behavior and meet you at 50% of what you are asking this is the middle ground.  But I wish to note that the first person is giving in still, and giving up...while the second person is not giving in at all.  While the second is only gaining half what he wanted, he is still the only one who is gaining.  This is in my view a fair offer.

To attempt to change someone and to over exaggerate the problem, only you see as a problem, then to dismiss their attempt to appease you by offering 50% is a make it or break it deal.  At this point, to me the very notion that it is your way or the highway is possibly an attempt to sabotage the relationship. 

If the first person agrees to your terms they are a fool.  They are giving up more than what your asking...they are giving up their free will and allowing a tyrant to make decisions with no regard to your feelings.  This is no longer a relationship, relationships are two way communication channels with element already destroyed.  If you show someone that your will can be ignored, they have no reason to ever consult you regarding anything.  Someone who claims to care about you enough to call your attention to the change they want to see in your life, will have a reason.  If their is no reason, how can this person really care for you?  They are already showing that who you are isn't what they want...thus they care for the "you" that they want to create.

This scenario also works well if you wish to end the relationship but don't want to appear to be the one who pulls the plug.  Any person with any self esteem would reject your demand and accept the end of the relationship allowing you then to turn and face the world as the "victim".  "He wouldn't listen to me." or "his choice didnt include me." are two suggested lines for #2 to say to make it LOOK like there was a choice when there was never one in the beginning.  Your free now.

This is vague for a reason, I dont really need to feed the names into the blanks and explain...this is to me the primary issue regarding a situation at hand their issue is secondary, only to their focus. 


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