Perception IS reality.
Dont get confused! There are two truths in this world. Truth which everyone knows as the big T is without doubt the actual way things are...hardly ever will any of us fin this form of reality, but life is filled more with truth...the little t's that are accepted but could be debated on. Reality is the same exact way. Sure there is an absolute reality but again few of us ever see it, rather "perception" rules the masses. If you have ever seen something that others deny it usually doesnt sway your conviction in the fact the what you see is what is actually there. This applies in almost any way of life, and you have to guard against the more easily misunderstood image that perception portrays.
For instance .... no names ..... lets see I have two friends named Max and Rob...yeap, thats their names!!! :-) Each has stated a certain promise or committment to the other and each is a slave to the perception they see things from. When your in a relationship and weathering the world's inert force to pull two bodies apart you have to take extra time to ensure you safe guard your actions.
For instance say Max hangs out with a friend of his who is a long standing critic of his boyfriend Rob. This person probably doesnt have any respect for your boyfriend, and that shoudlnt really affect your friendship but you do have to safe guard the fact that (we will call him Ryan) doesn't probably respect your relationship either. While you probably would never break your trust with Max directly with Ryan...the perception that he'd be an influence against the relationship is valid. Building from that if you then make it a habit to hold back information from Max about friends like this you start to enter a coverup. While you might not ever lie, you are misleading. Holes start to open around your world where Max wonders what was there....and once a coverup is suspected...people seek motives for these actions. You can be friends with whomever...you shouldnt make a situation worse by holding back the turth....ironically you think your doing good but your seriosuly eroding the fabric of as relationship. If you worrry the other is going to be wrongly upset....let them be that, at least he is the only one that is in the wrong at this point. No matter what reality may have been, perception in this instance isn't a postive picture of you anymore. Further practicing a course of half hidden time breeds itself into allowing for other means to work around that person such as identities on the internet. Again...think of how this looks? Perception is what you will be judged by, if you have done nothing wrong don't act like you have!
Open Relationships are committment!
First off lets look at the balance of two inner forces in each of us....I'll call one WILL and the other NATURE. A relationship is a creation in my mind of WILL. You decide to comprimise and meet someone helf way because you decide your life is better this way. You commit to them that they are your heart, but NATURE almost always casues a drive for lust and I think most often this is what breaks two people apart. The struggle of being in love and being committed. I can not name one relationship that has lasted for over 5 yrs inwhich each party held to the idea of monogamy. I can name a dozen or so that learned to draw the line where they felt comfortable together...allowing for both Will and Nature to take their course.
To me an open relationship is a committment... that no one else will occupy their lovers place. A boyfriend is the end all who yuo side with to promote support. A key to the success of balancing nature is remember that if you do hook up with someone they should be no more than a trick. People's emotions can become involved in lust and thats why have to safe guard your emotion's from the fall out that a trick can bring. Just remember who your boyfriend is, make sure they know who your boyfriend is as well. That way you address the issue of where do we go from here before you get out of the wet spot. Both of you will make mistakes, but as long as you each of trust and watch for the others perception you'll do well.
Never allow a trick to wiggle his way into what he doesnt have and may admire to the point he is willing to destroy it in order to obtain it.
Proactively meet conflict before it is apparent to the public.
BBy waiting for an issue to present itself you allow the others to devolpe ideas and questions that you never meant to be poured onto the floor. If you know that say hanging out with Mick is going to cause ripples in the waters tell them before the water confirms it. Surprise is he enemy in conlict...once you are caught by surprise you will remain in a defensive role, a reaction is so much harder to control than a proactive action. Further surprise breeds a defensive struggle. A reaction is the only way to counter an unexpected turn in what you had thought to be a regular road ahead.
And now for the normal discussions of life.... I am an addict. I am ashamed to admitt it but I never really got into Ebay until the 14th. Since then I have bought more stuff online there than at any other location. I have shortcuts to pages I wanna keep on top of saved to my desktop. I am dreaming of quiting my job and just going into my own ebuisness. I am trying to aquire a notebook computer that rivals mine for roughly 60% the price so that Ron is as mobile as me with these spreadout quarters. I have 19 hrs left and a 2.5 ghz, 15" screen notebook from gateway sitting at $205.00. Obviously as we approach the finish line on this race I expect it to become very competitive. We have less than 2 weeks till CHICAGO!!!! :-) It cost over $500 this past 8 days to combat the problems never addressed in previous service calls over the past 2 months. Listen learned.....if they are there to change your oil, or put wheels on the car...don't let them do more! Would you let your Dermatologist do open heart surgery? I applied for another 5 jobs tonight....lol. :-) Oh wells.