Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

18:01 Turn the page

I am amazed. I never realized in life how often people seemlessly intermix into new experiences. Change is inevitable and I feel that I see change and forcefully forge forward only momentarily questioning the future. I am a person that attempts to make rational judgements with the question: What will best serve my needs? in mind.

There is no point in mourning the end of a relationship. Of course it is never planned to part from another person but it is a fact of life that even till the end, death will part the closest soles. Enjoy the moment but don't allow the memory of a past moment inhibit the future.

So I found myself in a dialogue with a friend. He asked how things were with me and Ron. I answered "We have our ups and downs like anyone else." That was three days ago. Not exactly the passionate response of a lover who is confident. Last night in a moment of emotional flare I left his house and told him I had no intension to return in the same capacity.

So now I am debating issues such as his phone I pay. I obviously am not going to continue to extend that service, but I also don't want it to be viewed as a tool or means to be bitter. Bitterness is a sign of yearning to reconcile. I have no intention to reconcile. No need because remember, make decisions based upon the best future. My best future is pursuing an old underlying fire and ultimately experiencing a bit of my lost magic.

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