Matthew Leffler (kymatt19) wrote,
Matthew Leffler

19:5 Redirect....

Oh I forgot to over confidence/ fuck ya if your not helping mode.

Alright. Say that I act all about you for a couple weeks...I say some stuff to make you feel very comfortable in ur status with me...and so then you just kinda start not caring. BEATCH...:-) basically I am doing this now. See...I will be authentic, but when I feel the other part is is blowing me wont find me there to ignore.
Then suddenly you'll realize that you werent much a focus..( i can be like a light. off and on in a switch) So then I'll ignore them, replace them...and when they attempt to repair the oversight they find that damn confidence in me again. I don't dwell on stuff, but i also don't forget it.

Cause it is almost insecurity so full blown that it lands on the other end of the spectrum? make sense? I am all about saving face and not putting myself out there for a repeat chance to be ignored. Seriously...dont even have to really know me and if i felt'll swear I am an asshole then on.

This weekend a friend wanted to invite someone else over...but they wanted to know if it was fine with me since it was my house. Thats respectful and I'll reward it with appreciation. But the person I felt smugged by once, so I'm sorry to that friend...I didn't have him over.

So...this has been a dive into the self devices of Matt. Twisted little bitch right? Like I said before...I'll meet people half way but only when I see they are starting the journey.

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